Memories, foundations, and lenses

Going through my Facebook memories is a trip.

They are 90% horse-related. That was my life.

Today was filled with pics of me and my first horse, a rescued soul that we named Tango.

What we had was one of the most significant, meaningful relationships and loves of my life.

He was emaciated, defensive, untrusting, and aloof at first. Physical issues that had gone unnoticed and uncared for turned chronic. But the emotional barriers fell quickly. We became each other's safety nets and safest harbor. By the end, Tango would have walked through fire with me. And I trusted him with my life, despite not being able to ride him much, first, due to his physical

limitations and, eventually, mine.

No matter how difficult it got, I loved my horse-life, despite the physical challenges that grew.

The chapter was bound to come to an end someday.

But my visions of the ending didn't come even CLOSE to how it actually ended.

And so, we ventured on, after the aftermath, looking for a new way of life. One that would bring us the joy, peace, and happiness all humans desire. So, we ended up near the beach.

No surprise there. The beach is where my soul is most cleansed and finds the most peace - in the beauty, in the motion of the coming in and going out, washing things away to the sea, and the new things deposited when the waves flow inward, providing new beauty - ever changing.

Is this the final destination?

Who knows.

But the reality of how drastically life can change has not been wasted on me.

The hardships, hard as they were, and often continue to be, sent me on a journey that led me "here."

And my "here" is this: though the geography of where my physical home is may still be a mystery, the geography of my soul's home is not.

Hard as times can be, lost as I may feel, I still find comfort, peace, and assurance in the knowledge of my soul's journey.

And that is what I keep pressing into.

That is what I pursue, fill my vessel with and continually pour into.

That is my new compass.

Where will it lead, if anywhere?

I don't know.

It has been both confounding and revolutionary. Both painful and freeing.

When the lenses that I saw life through were smashed, new ones were offered.

Choosing to see differently, opening my eyes and ears to new sights and sounds, was a choice I was poised to make daily, sometimes hourly, or more.

My choice to make.

The offer - always on the table.

In doing so, in changing how I saw things, things I saw changed.

So I continue to collect bricks for the foundation that was begun after everything else fell apart.

I will smile, despite a bit of sadness, when these beautiful memories resurface. I will hold them in my heart and use them as bricks of remembrance and gratitude for the amazing gifts I've had, reinforcing the footing beneath me to keep me upright and looking forward with thanks, love, and hope.