Out with the old!

Out with the old, in with the new, as the saying goes.

Christmas 2023 has come and gone, and in 5 more days, it will be New Year's Eve.

A time to reflect on chapters closed.

And contemplate new ones to begin.

A time for evaluation.

A time for inventorying.

A time for reprioritizing.

New Year's Eve is one of my favorite holidays. There's something satisfactory about the forced end of a year, a shiny new one before me.

In hindsight, it speaks volumes - I have been quite eager to put certain years behind me. An emotion too familiar - there were many years I just wanted to end.

Makes me kind of sad to realize that.

But here I am, excited to slam the books on yet another year.

The slamming sound is already in my head, giving me a grinch-style smile. See ya 2023!!

This past year seems to have placed a period in many aspects of my life.

A big, fat, black period.

A period on chapters. Dreams. Relationships. Expectations.

The end. Period. Done.

However, there is one difference in my anticipation of this year coming to an end.

I now have significant hope for what lies ahead. I am ready for “NEW.”

New experiences.

New surroundings.

New people.

New everything.

When life forces things upon you, you eventually give in.

I have shouted and screamed “Uncle,” silently, in my head, to myself, all year long.

Nonetheless, there's no animosity with the things I have been forced to be “done” with.

I have come to realize, in a profound way, that though the rearview mirror is smaller, it holds many more years of my life than the windshield does.

On the other hand, I notice that the windshield is actually larger than the rearview mirror. With that knowledge, I've decided that I want the windshield to be FULL - full of what makes my heart soar, full of what entices my mind, full of what feeds my soul, and full of what gives peace to my spirit.

I have many hopes for the future. I’m reluctant to call them “dreams” given the past, but I have hopes.

I hate to be “expectant” because disappointment often accompanied my expectations in the past.

I am hopefully expectant, and I intend to continue pursuing those new "dreams" that await.

A significant change for me going forward is that, having been knocked around by reality and watched dreams die, I now know that if none of them come to fruition, I will be just fine.

I may even be better for it.

My character has grown exponentially, experiencing tremendous losses over the past three years. I must say, truthfully, it has grown explicitly because of those losses. Because of where they have led me. Because of what they taught me. Because of how they have strengthened and, at the same time, softened me.

So, this New Year’s I’ll be setting goals with a twinkle in my eye, something sparkly in my glass, and pure joy.

I won’t be tethered to those goals, though. I’ll go about my day-to-day, checking in with “the man upstairs,” seeing what tasks He has for me that day, focusing on things I need to address, care for, work on, or prepare.

If the road leads me to achieving one or more goals, great.

And if not, also great.

I’ll be taking my time while I make my way along, noticing the gifts and beauty around me, as well as the blessings inside me, even if it’s as simple as the air that I breathe.

Happy 2024!!